For the past 3 years my wife and I (with our 2y daughter) have lived with my mother and stepfather. My mom had cancer so we were there to help out,after she recovered things started to go down hill.I lost my job witch didn’t help.About 3 weeks ago my 15y daughter stayed the weekend. My stepfathers 15y grandson is always there for some reason. So when my duaghter is there he follows her around like a puppy dog. The first night he fell asleep in the room my daughter was going to sleep in.Obviously I told her to just sleep on the couch.The next night I woke up to them sleep in the same bed.I know nothing was going on but like a normal father I wasn’t okay with it.After she went home I got into a huge fight with my stepfather ( they are not actually married) who didn’t see anything wrong with it.So we had to leave .We went to my fathers who is not a good person but I thought maybe he changed at least a little bit. I figured we just needed a like a month to get a place. Well after 2 weeks my wife came downstairs crying because my P.O.S. got in her face cussing at her and I’m sure came close to hitter her. why? She was making a grilled cheese @9pm. They weren’t in bed or anything. So of course my father and I got into a huge fight and once again we had to find a place to go. We are now @ my wife’s parents house the 3 of us sleeping on a couch. The place is pretty bad ( mice / fleas) but we had no where else to go. I just found out her father wants us to leave. He never comes out of his room anyway. not just because we are here. I have always had a rough relationship with my family and so has my wife. My father was an abusive alcoholic and my mother never wanted me around.He did change when he met my stepmom but apparently not as much as I thought. I should never have put my family in that situation. We have no place to go and have to leave tomorrow. Her asshole father couldn’t even tell us himself he had her mom do it. Her mom is a good person so I’m sure that wasn’t easy. I finally found a job at a temp service but is has not be steady at all. Even if we had a place to go we have no gas to get there. I’m not asking for anything but I just needed to vent.I don’t have a lot of friends to talk to other than my vape family.
This all sucks bro, but I think you have to eat the humble pie and go back to your mom’s house until you get your feet under you. Maybe spend your time with your 15yo away from there so nothing goes on between them, or at least talk to her, she’s likely not going to do anything with some loser that follows her around like a puppy dog anyway.
Thats not an option. We were told to leave. My stepfather said I had no say in what my daughter does in his house. The thing with my daughter just started it. When my mother couldn’t work and I helped pay the bills everything was okay for the most part. After she could work again it changed. I worked for the same company for many years until one day I went to work and they said they went out of buisness.I lost my job without any notice.I think you might be mistaking my parents for normal parents. My stepfather hit me 3 or 4 times before I beat the hell out of him.
Also its not like I went off on my daughter. I sat her down and talked to her about it the next day. This all happened after I got home from dropping her off. My stepfather got in my face and started yelling at me. I took it until he started hitting me.
Damn brother, I’m sorry this is happening to you. I know it’s hard. After I left my wife in 2003, I spent 1 1/2 years wandering from relative to relative. Of course it was just me, but it was still tough - and demeaning. Things looked up after awhile and I’m sure they will with you. Have you tried any Social Service agencies near you? They may be able to help. If worse comes to worse, you could stay in a shelter. Not the best option but it is an option. I really hope things start looking up for you and your family.
Honestly, I think a shelter is going to be our only option right now. My father going off on my wife was Sunday night. We came here cause we had no where to go not think they would make us leave after a couple of days. I’ve never been in a situation like this.Tomorrow we are going to try and get help. My father texted me and it said “I’m sorry I yelled at her she just gets on my nerves”. My wife is the nicest person anyone could meet. My father wouldn’t even talked to her the whole time we were there. He just has zero respect for women.He waited till i wasn’t around before going off on her.
The first time I ever got stitches was from my father. I was around 7 and he was drunk.I took his hat off of him ,so he pushed me off the deck and threw an ice cold unopened beer and me. It hit me in the face and split my lip apart . They made me lie and say that i fell. My wife had been pushing for years for me to build a relationship with him. I should have known he wouldn’t change. I know this is all negative and people don’t wanna deal with it. It kinda helps just typing and getting it out.
Things are shit. When my life looks like a bag of smashed assholes I always am reassured that even if I’m at rock bottom, theres only one direction to go. You started this world with nothing, you can always move up pal. Best of luck.
i dont know about your faith , soi hope this doesnt offend you , you and your family are in my prayers , things will get better my friend , the three of you will come out of this with your heads held high ive been through it myself and dont wish this hard ship on anyone
Second thing, I’m sorry and I understand for various reasons the parents issue
Third thing, Employers are generally pretty jerky unless they have a union - and the economy is still bad. This can happen to anyone. My kid went through that 2000 miles away a few years ago. She was too far away for me to help her.
You should right away go to a church to get housing assistance. Catholic services can be miracle workers, no matter where you are in the country…especially with housing a child.
The Salvation Army and Goodwill all have both Jobs programs, housing assistance counseling and food pantries.
I think a lot of states when you have a child, there are laws where they kind of have to help you.
George Bush and faith based initiatives set aside massive federal funding and gave it to churches to help homeless families and in fact - my best friends daughter and her husband had a church making their house payments for them for well over a year. This is why churches always have some kind of funding. The trick is finding the churches that “take” federal funds.
If you have never gone to a church to get this kind of help before you are actually way better off because first time people who use faith based assistance get treated the best.
I will be sending waves of love and asking the universe to get you safe and feeling better about this. This can happen to anyone - anyone.
Truly sorry for the craziness you and your family are going through. I pray you guys pull through this fast and on to a much better and well deserved situation.
There are days when I thank God, thank God thank God I wasn’t born 20 years later than I was. The things these kids are suffering in these times makes me sick in my heart and my soul.
Your interest in DIY proves a level of Creativity. A personality trait which basically shows you can make something from nothing. Taking care of your family and resolving being a victim of other folks negativity is the fire that tempers your steel. That divine power of creativity and the Love you have for your family can make anything happen. We feel for you and appreciate the honesty, and I think many here have faced similar circumstances and challenges. Breaking the cycle and doing what is best for Randy is doing what’s best for your family. It’s gonna happen because you make it happen. Once this is true, you may discover you can be free of these people …and still visit them at Christmas
I will try to reply to individual comments later if I can. I think what I needed most was some positivity. I knew I could get that here. I think what really got me so into vaping was the community. You get people from all walks of life. So, I though for sure somebody on here has been or is in a similar situation. Of course I feel like the worst father/husband in the world. I have always had a job and even side jobs. All of my saving went to bills and talking care of my daughers after I lost my job.I have been down before but nothing like this. I know I will get back on my feet. I guess I just needed to hear it to. Oh and when it comes to religion. I do believe in something. Thanks everyone
Stop beating yourself up sweetie, it took a lot of courage to even bring it up. You overcame your pride for the sake of your kids to find out your options and that makes you a very big person in my eyes.
When Bill Clinton signed NAFTA and all those jobs started going off shore and all the Wal-Marts popped up (bringing all those cheap foreign manufactured junk in here) it set something in motion that would never be undone in my life time.
George Bush (as evil as he was with his phony wars) knew this country would go into revolt in the space of 12 years if he didn’t set something into motion to help people because the government actuaries “knew” we would be here and this would happen. There aren’t enough good paying jobs, all the taxes are on the backs of the middle class, rich people don’t pay taxes and wages are so low a lot of people have to work AND collect welfare just to keep a roof over their kids heads.
Exact same position except no kids involved but was living in a house we rented with a couple roommates together well she got into a fight with one of the roommates for taking her phone ended up gettin her black eye, so we moved into her parents place and i lost my job then been trying to find pretty much anything with no luck so her dad same thing couldnt even tell me himself says i gotta be out next day shit so now im back at my parents 40min north while my girl is still there at hers ugh its a pain in the ass because my car broke down begining of the year so we had been sharing her car now im on public transportation 3 hour bus ride to go see her…
ugh its a pain in the ass because my car broke down begining of the year so we had been sharing her car now im on public transportation 3 hour bus ride to go see her…