I hate those bad dreams that haunt you all the next day & make you afraid to go to sleep incase you fall back into the nightmare.
I have just these a bit.
I have learnt to tell myself (thanks to a good psychologist) that they aren’t real and when I go to bed think about walking slowly through a nice place, beach or forest or something, counting steps to reach a peaceful setting, observing in my mind the sights and sounds, like flowers, trees etc of my surroundings to reach my destination like a chair on the beach or cabin in the forest that is there just for me with all my favourite things, pets, people, whatever, around me.
If I can’t focus or get distracted/mind wanders, start the journey again from the beginning.
It takes some practice but works for me.
Most nights I fall asleep before making it to the destination.
Maybe it will work for you too
Life is not easy. Life comes with hardships that we all have to deal with. Find your way to deal with life as it comes at you. If you need to go on more hikes together then do that. I have been on every antidepressant known to man. I had a ton of stress at work, home/apartment, and just life in general. I honestly got clarity about 2 months ago from a 10 year medically induced zombie life. I pretty much just up and said fuck it. Life is going to be what it is going to be. My life is different from yours and everyone else here. If someone says that they have the same life as you they are fucking lying, because they are not you and they are not experiencing your emotions. Never give up and never quit. Just do your best in these trying times and soon, hopefully you will get out of the slump. This is all it is, a small hump in the road.
Remember also work is work. An honest living is an honest living. Work at Lowes, a grocery store, somewhere to make some sort of ends meet, then get out there and still work to find the job you want. have you heard of LinkedIn? If you have a good resume people will call you. You might be surprised that selling yourself well might get you the job you want. Is it easy, hell no.
Good luck to you in your future endeavors. Never Quit, Never Back down from an opportunity whether great or small.
I applaud you for sharing your story and for the determination to better yourself and your relationship.
This may or may not pertain to you. But you have described the symptoms and side affects of sleep apnea. You might see an E.N.T. Dr. to check out your airway and sinus passages. They will rule out physical problems that can cause poor O2 during sleep. They will also order you a sleep study. Now days you can do an “in home” study. These are way better than the old way of spending the night at a sleep facility. Cheaper too. If Dr. Orders it many or most insurance companies will cover it. My wife asked me 12 years ago to get tested and I refused untill 2 years ago. Turns out I have apnea events all night long and I measure far on the “bad” end of the scale. I missed out on 10 years of help I really needed. And you don’t have to be old to have sleep apnea. And, “you don’t have to be old to be wise” -Rob Halford (JP)
As for the relationship problem, specifically having to care-take for a partner with health issues mental or physical, just remember that you will age. You may feel ok now - when your young, strong,
and seemingly invenceable - being the one that does all the physical work in the relationship and takes all of the emotional blame. When you get older you may regret it as it will eventually penatrate you armor changing you into the person you have to provided care for.
I’m not telling you what to do with your relationship, just pointing out a reality I now face in my mid 50’s. Reading your post was like looking in a mirror. Just remember that everything and everyone has ups and downs, goods and bads. Whatever you do keep it rational and sane. Build up a part of your spirit that will always remain strong and prevent unhealthy/destructive impulse behavior.
I’ve spent the last week not watching the news, commercial television (except football, of course) or listening to the radio. Been spending the time reading, streaming shows, learning stuff on the internet and thinkiing of projects I’d like to try. Sometimes you just need a break.
Best sleep I’ve had in months.
Trick question @cherat depends on what’s causing it. Like @Lostmarbles said, don’t get lost in the news, perhaps meditation, yoga, wave sound machine ??
They got these marvellous video’s on YT with the sound of rain, or the forest, birds, basically anything that’ll float your boat.
They even have anti stress video’s for dogs that have a problem with being alone
Best thing ever to cut the cord this year, not missing the news and whatnot, feeling way more relaxed. Just worrying about what you can control and not sweating what you can’t.
It is nice to learn new things and be occupied rather than hearing about covid and politics all the time. Stressing about those things will kill you faster than any virus lol
I am right there with you though, still gotta catch a football game now and then.
This past year and 3/4 has been tough for so many people for so many reasons. The overall state of mental health has really been affected. Glad you found some ways that work for you. For me, this forum has been helpful and I am finally starting to work out again rather than be a couch potato. Though it has only been a week, it has positively impacted my mood just knowing I am doing something good for me. And after a week I can feel an improvement in my aerobic endurance (which had become pretty poor). Today my body feels fatigued and I know my arms, legs and shoulders will be sore tomorrow, but it will be a good sore.
