Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
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“I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” - W.C. Fields
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I use that one ALL the time! 
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Me too, my poor wife hears it every time she orders water at a restaurant.
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I went home with a waitress the way I always do…
Warren Zevon
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From 1994 but still full of viable quotes and an oddly prescient tone.
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A long time ago, my neice who was about 6 asked: “Uncle Michael, do you want a bottle of water?”
“no honey, want to know why?”
My sister comes running screaming “don’t tell her!”
I said: “cuz fish swim in it”.
I thought my little sister was gonna have a stroke. We still laugh about it.
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As long as we have a good model for who can get them. Just a Brit’s perspective on a tragic day. The death of students and teachers cuts deeply for me.
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Hopefully you tell the voice which uses initialisms like OMG to shut the fuck up.
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A Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic Church and the Father says, ‘you cannot come in’
Mr Higgs says, ‘But without me - you cannot have mass!’
I don’t remember the original source so I’ll rely on Neil deGrasse Tyson telling it on the Money Cage.
Explained in song for those who struggle with their dead cats and charges.
https://youtu.be/KYeroGkPULI
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It was the reason I found that quote so appropriate. Being a parent myself I just can not fathom the emotional pain taking place now.
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Well we can share the pain but we’ll disagree on the solution.
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When you’re on top of the world you should remember it turns every 24 hours.
TAMIE FRASER
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A moment’s insight is sometimes worth a life’s experience.
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES SR.
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Sometimes in life, you’ll have sh*t in your hands. Don’t clap.
Me to my son. For now and always.
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