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Two that I made up. (This first for my kids) No is 30% faster than yes.
I’m sorry, I don’t read empty minds.
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Prevent hangover. Stay drunk.
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For sure, well said!!! 
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That’s me… shut up, I’m trying to listen! 
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Just quietly listen, but better don’t tell anyone. I lost my therapist because of that.
You see, some time ago …
… i told my psychiatrist that i’ve been hearing voices.
He told me that i don’t have a psychiatrist.
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Hey Mark. I’m a bit familiar with Coelho. I’ve read at least one of his books, The Alchemist. I didn’t realize he had been tortured and imprisoned because of his political beliefs.
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Actually I didn’t realize he was tortured while imprisoned? Just looked it up.
The Alchemist is an excellent read. Simple story about living vicariously through one’s pursuit of his dreams.
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How about, “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the minimum wage.” My wife. Also from her: “Stupidity should be painful.”
She was a flight nurse. Helicopter ambulance. Told me about a guy that was trying to “log walk” on the barrel of a cement truck. Fell and broke his shoulder.
'Nother one was watching gay porn and sat on a plunger. Lost his balance and lied on his belly with it sticking out his ass, on the 'copter ride. Not sure if I believe that one, but at the same time, I don’t doubt it.
Another guy, they called shush-kabob. Was dancing around and showing off on a sky-rise. Lost it, and plummeted to his death on some rebar up his ass.
Says she just doesn’t ask anymore!
Dunno what to believe but like I day, hard to doubt.
:
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A long time ago, I dated an ER nurse and a lot of her patient stories involved objects in the ass.
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Uh, oh… Sometimes I just can’t help myself Lostmarbles. Is your prostrate swollen?
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Hang on I will check
yes it is
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Not sure about that one because when you plummet, the weight of your torso usually has you falling with top half of your body first. So how his butt landed on a rebar while falling face first, I don’t know? But like you said, anything is possible. My father told me a war story once about getting strafed in the middle of the night while everyone was asleep in their tents. They woke up to find one of their officers laying on his stomach in his cot. He was dead by a strafing bullet that went right up his ass and out his mouth. My dad said those bullets were like 12" long.
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Totally real! I have a doctor friend who worked in the city’s busiest ER and she said the same thing. I think a flashlight was found up there.
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Hmmm. Where did the term, Gerbiling come from?
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Richard Gere?
No, really, I don’t want to know and besides, I’m against animal abuse 
Getting shoved up someones smelly ass is the worst nightmare I can imagine. What is wrong with people?!!!
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“Hmmm. Where did the term, Gerbiling come from?”
~ Pauly Walnuts
“A long time ago, I dated an ER nurse and a lot of her patient stories involved objects in the ass.”
~ Lostmarbles
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I wonder if nurses have thing for guys’ asses.
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