The scary part is …yes I am.
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@ladycrooks I’m really sorry about your condition.
Nowadays pretending to be healthy is a chimera; we are all, or almost all of us, subjected to extreme mental and emotional stress. They have already given you excellent advice but always remember that you don’t have to face everything alone, in addition to external help as already suggested, my modest advice is to find something that helps you in moments when you have to deal with yourself: reading , music, painting, sculpture, running or any other mental and/or physical activity, active or passive, that allows you to soothe the peaks while waiting for external help and comfort. Don’t let yourself be devoured by the vortex, you’ve realized that the situation is getting out of hand, so you can get out of it, not that it’s easy, but you can do it.
Personally, I have been struggling with some of these problems, combined with allergic pathologies of the respiratory tract, for years and I understand, even if it is different for each of us, the immense difficulty that requires a reaction in moments in which you would like everything to slide to its final conclusion. The first thing you must do is never indulge in such thoughts, we are all important and have a role in the balance of this world, even if we cannot discern it, and we who suffer, or who have suffered, can give an even greater contribution because we know firsthand what pain means, be it physical and/or mental.
I sincerely hope that you make it because the best response we can give to a world that probably doesn’t want us is to stay here steadfast and fight until the end.
A huge hug!
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OMG, this is serious… Join a milk n honey support group, the Twelve-step program can be applied to any addiction…
Seriously tho, all of the advice posted above is solid 
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