What if you found what all retail juice mfg's are doing

pssst I’m mixing up some juice tonight… meet me in the Cemetery at mid-night …bring a live chicken

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Right on I did my job then :clap:

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Quiet @BoDarc I’ve been saying my name backwards after making that CreamStone and I don’t want to waste all those flavorings with a bad mix… rotuT… rotuT… rotuT… rotuT… rotuT… rotuT…

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Does this involve talking to some guy named Deep Throat in a a dark underground parking structure?

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Yeah but it wasn’t a guy… lol

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OK, I’m in!

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Okay I need to apoligise… that was rude… (kinda funny… but it was rude…)

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I’ll buy ya a beer and we can drown our shame.

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@JoJo we can only assume Gene1 was… let’s say in an altered state. I don’t think he could concentrate because he was trying to altered-state-text his Ex. You know when your trying to post to ELR over your phone and she keeps messaging you back “I told you to stop texting me!”?

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See look how much fun you can have over one little topic :laughing:

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I have to confess I’m Gene (not really but stay with me)

So I’m going to disclose the whole conspiracy. Remember the old story about the Cobbler and the Elves? He’d put shoes out at night and in the morning the shoes would all be good as new!? Well they weren’t really Elves …not from this world …they were AlienElves.

They have been among us for Millennia, helping us in technologically challenging processes, but they are compelled to always stay on the leading edge …no more midnight cobbling for AlienElves! The first Ford assembly line? …AlienElves. The Manhattan Project? You guessed it.

This is the real secret of the Illuminati! They have been benefiting and trying to control all AlienElf activity …but they are so friggin’ small. Steve Jobs was one of the first CEOs to be able to convince the AlienElves to use their tiny fingers for the good of Mankind. You think Humans made all those iPods? Ha!

What the Illuminati know is that the AlienElves are actually Extraterrestrial Hipsters. What they enjoy most is shaping Human Culture by setting new trends. When the Illuminati saw the increase in Nicotine Patch Sales, someone in a meeting at Illuminati HQ said (rumors say bong hits were involved) “…people want to stop smoking, but they don’t wanna stop smoking”[cough]

Turned out an AlienElf was their Supplier, since at that time they were involved in hydroponic GMO MJ cultivation. He heard this and a lightbulb went off in his head …a little tiny AlienElf lightbulb …you know they are on all our Christmas trees. “Smoking that helps you stop smoking!?” he thought to himself telepathically. He immediately warped back to AE HQ (Denver Colorado).

The TRUTH is that guy in the hazmat suit in the 1,000ml/L Nicotine room is from the Illuminati. The suit is to hide his identity. Inside the mixing machines (all manufactured secretly by the Illuminati) are really just hollow boxes which are in fact AlienElf Condominiums. Inside they do their AE sh*t whipping up various flavoring and juices.

No one truly knows what goes on inside …any more than they could possibly conceive how busted shoes could be made to look like new or how music could be stolen and crammed inside tiny boxes. It f*cking AlienElves and the Illuminati!

[Deep breath] Ok ok, I feel better. It’s such a burden to carry this stuff around Man! …and now YOU know! …the WORLD KNOWS. F*CK YOU ALIEN BASTARD ELVES …they really are little hipster dicks. I need a drink… [sigh] Wait… there’s someone knocking on my door BRB because there is something Have to tel

undeee
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Without a doubt! I’ll tell you the truth, but you won’t believe me anyway. You have to mix underneath the full moon and lay out your alter to the juice God’s … a virgin sacrifice is always required, so good luck finding one of those… I’m going to hell now, but you have the truth!

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“premium” juices are well pre-steeped, use a tonne of sweetener and the fancy labels make them taste nicer :smiley:

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…and 50% of the contents in the mix is hype; very important ingredient if you want to make crap loads of money. Hype is manufactured, sold and distributed under the authority of the innerwebs and thousands of vape shops. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: If you want some of this hype, I have some…so, please send a $20 bill duct taped under the seat of a Limited Edition Bugatti Veyron by Mansory Vivere to my home address. (PM me for details)

…this one will do.

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Steep knomes!

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Gnomes are known to have lesser magical properties. What you need to do is get the Steep Gnomes rip-roaring drunk (after you hide your valuables) then let them pee in your garden (they hate Garden Gnomes and think this is hilarious). After they are done, collect a few drops from the leaves and voila! Instant secret ingredient. Never use more that 1 drop per 20ml or you’ll hallucinate.
Also never ever do this with leprechauns. Those fathermuckers will “do it” with anything and you’ll never know what comes outta them.

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Personally I think it’s all psychological, your brain tells you wow you just spent way too much for that juice so it’s got to be so much better then the cheaper stuff.

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