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A PUBLIC and Civil Discussion on the Rules


#225

@JoJo
We need a :whew: quick reply icon! Lol
(or one period, so it seems! :wink: grins)

The old smiley wiping the sweat from the forehead…


#226

My thoughts aren’t going to be appreciated nor popular, but they are true for me.

Rewind 18 months ago, we all bragged about how nice the forum is and how we are all like family, and how we all respected each other and what each of us had to offer. We all had fun, talked how we wanted, used adult humor and it was great. We all loved our unique home, none of us felt censored, or like we were being treated like children.

Current day, we are all divided. A lot of us have stopped visiting the forums or interacting. We aren’t seeing anywhere near the same amount of new mixers showing up anymore, or at least interacting. Most of us are angry or resentful defensive.

What happened in that 18 months? Some people thought an adult thread in the pubs would be fun. And it was, for some. Then it continually devolved into inappropriate and offensive content. And when anyone mentioned it bothered them, they defended it. They said it’s in separate thread, don’t visit it if you are offended. But most of us already were not visiting it. Then the participants forgot what thread they were on, or didn’t care and the offensive banter and content overflowed all over the other threads. There became no way to distance yourself, and who knows how many new mixers never even said a word before leaving again.

We all handled it wrong. Everyone wasn’t being honest and saying things as they happened. We all just ignored it so it continued. Now it has gotten way out of control and people are offended and defensive because they are being called out on their behavior.

Yes, it was always wrong and against forum rules. Yes, the mods should have stopped it before it became an issue, and enforced the rules from the start. Yes, us users should have complained and or talked with the people we had problems with. But we all fucked up. It has gotten to the point there is no choice but to deal with it.

The rules have always been there. They should always have been enforced, but weren’t. Everyone has now been put on blast that starting now, that has changed and rules will be enforced.

No there shouldn’t be an adult thread allowed in the saloon and marked mature. That opportunity was already given, and people have already shown they are unable to manage that content and keep it where it belongs.

At the center of this entire fiasco is the adult thread with sexual content that has derailed a lot of non-adult threads. This is an adult mixing forum where we all can come together and share our hobbies and knowledge with like minded people. While acting like adults. Not pouting and whining because the xrated content has been banned from an ejuice mixing forum …oh, the horror.

If we wanted a porn forum, there are plenty out there to choose from, I wouldn’t visit a mixing forum.

Sorry for everyone that is butt hurt…but if you are feeling defensive while reading this, it might be time to take a step back and look at YOUR behavior.

The goal and commitment should be in returning this forum into the wonderful and unique place it used to be. If you feel like you can’t enjoy being here without an xrated section, then maybe you are in the wrong place.

To be honest, I have enjoyed being on Reddit more for the last few months than here…and that is really sad because I’ve never liked it there. But I have disliked it less than this forum that used to be my home.

So so sad this is where we all are :cry:


#227

Lady Mormont, i mean, Lady Rose speaks harshly, and truly. A big part of the blame lies on my shoulders for accepting a position and then not being able to fulfill it. I cannot promise a return to what once was but i can promise that i will do my best to help foster better relations between the folks here.

We just need a little trust, patience and help. It is a big hole we need to climb out of and not everything is going to work. As long as we keep learning at each step, i think everything will be fine.


#228

It’s not just you. It’s all of us. We are all to blame. I’m willing to be part of the solution just like you.

Anyone else?


#229

This is a great example of how much a flair to your avatar matters. I hadn’t thought of that, good point.
As I’ve seen mentioned somewhere above, we could keep the rowdy posts in a special section where people are warned beforehand that they might run into explicit material.
I would like to stress the word ‘might’.
Just because something is allowed doesn’t necessarily make it mandatory.
I live in Amsterdam and am allowed to smoke dope, that doesn’t mean I’m stoned 24 hours a day.

I must say that I’m really impressed with the way this conversation has been going. A lot of different opinions here but at the same time there is a lot of understanding for other peoples point of view.
Which is very important if we want to find a middle ground.

If only the Democrats and Republicans in the US could be this grown up and talked to each other, really listening to other peoples point of view without hurling insults at each other a lot could be accomplished.
Or the Brexit crowd in the UK (not wanting to single out the US here, just an example :sweat_smile:)

I have one question left. I’ve read about respecting the OP’s post by not derailing it but is it allowed to derail your own thread? :sunglasses:


#230

Ive not been asked or considered that. :confused:

Maybe we need a separate derail thread.


#231

I was just kidding trying to keep it light.
I wouldn’t dream of derailing my own thread :stuck_out_tongue:

Did you sleep?


#232

Well i expected this to go a bit differently so i took WAY to much caffeine.


#233

100% this…


#234

p.s. Is it just obscenity or things like Gun Threads as well? Different parts of the world have different views on gun ownership. I can self moderate myself and not visit the thread or just skip over discussions in other threads on subject matter.

If a poster offends someone, offer an ignore button.The high majority of posts on here are replies, where you can’t see the post, unless you click the arrow, when this is done. Very few seems to quote, which would be the only way the offended would then see a reply.


#235

I dont think that we have had any problems with that thread since it was moved to the Saloon, i cant see any reason that i would remove it.


#236

Wasn’t saying it should be removed. Pointing out it is not just swearing and images that people can find offensive, Where does a website aimed at 18+ products draw the line? 18 year + adults can self moderate with tools too help.


#237

And yet we are here because that didnt happen. Daath expressed his thoughts on where what belongs so now we are going to go with it.


#238

I appreciate you thoughts! Thank you for sharing them! :slightly_smiling_face:

I actually had just edited my post prior to reading yours. I realized that I forgot to say that while I find the adult humor entertaining, I appreciate it in the places that it’s supposed to be. Because as you said, it has spilled out into the entire forum. Which has turned the focus away from the main reason we are here. And that isn’t what I came here for. It was always, to me, just a fun bonus to have a bit of adult humor.

While we may not see eye-to-eye on every point, I agree with most of what you are saying. We can all work together to find common ground and a solution that works!

Thank you so much for your input!


#239

an 8 year old can’t enter a vape shop here either, but you’ll have a bloody hard time to find in vape shops what you find in these threads sometimes


#240

Indeed.

We can have exploding human being beings, state torture, mass murder assisting devices being used willy nilly but should strongly avoid nipples :slight_smile: Ok, I am pushing it a bit but I’ll let it out as this has been tickling me from the use of PG-13 as guidance.
Some would see that as extraterritoriality of US norms, but hey, at least in is not export legislation .

Forgive me if I missed a post or two in the middle of this discussion and this has been covered.

For the record, from the point of view of a new user, I have not yet encountered anything that I find out of place here in my month of lurking, not that I have been searching either. Have there been moments when I encountered people with different views on the world, certainly. Nobody was being a dick about it though.
Also from the point of view of a new user I find the recipe side of things much more useful than the forum side of things when it comes to actual mixing. But I probably need to look better.

That being said, neither nipples nor guns have a place in a flavour mixing discussion, unless it is Mother’s milk or Gun Oil (someone must have) flavour, I guess, and even then the image is probably better left to the imagination.

I think the current policy of keeping the main forums to the point and the saloon reasonable to be a sensible one. I am not sure how much to the point should thread be kept, but personal conversation should probably not become the main traffic of a thread. A couple of off topic but called for replies, on the other hand, are probably beneficial to the feel of the forum.


#241

My 0.02 (late to the party as always).

I don’t find bad language (unless used in personal attacks) to be offensive.

I don’t read threads that I don’t want to read. Bluenose mentioned the Gun Thread…I don’t read that because whilst it doesn’t offend me, I don’t “get it”. That’s a geographical thing.

Derailments: I love banter, I love fun. Sometimes threads start off this way but then go so far downhill that it starts to get right on my tits and I just give up reading them.

I think my beliefs on this subject have been adequately covered by several people whilst I was sleeping, so I won’t start wittering on.

Actually, one last thing…stop being snitchety people you’re adults ffs - if you have a problem with somebody, drop them a pm and hash it out…instead of going on a personal vendetta “flag” rampage and causing the mods a shit load of unneccessary work.


#242

I know when I scope out a new forum I’m never impressed by either extreme. When I see posts telling another member he or she should not be posting just links, they need to post some verbiage because I said so, It’s a turn off. I see being nagged by church lady the whole time I’m on the site. On the other hand when I read threads with people giggling endlessly about titties and penises, I think I’ve entered the Howard Stern juvenile realm. I’m here so I must not find either extreme rampant. Good things to review however.


#243

Hopefully this isn’t derailing but I thought clarification of a couple things would be beneficial to everyone.

There’s a post called “What are you listening to” should we be posting radio edits?

There’s another about video games. I have posted a couple of clips of my highlights without thinking about if it could offend. Example, I post video of a game I’m playing involving guns where the object is to kill other players. If I post a video where I’ve blown an animated character’s head into a million peices is that something I shouldn’t be doing?

You may not post anything digital that belongs to someone else without permission. You may not post descriptions of, links to, or methods for stealing someone’s intellectual property (software, video, audio, images), or for breaking any other law.

^ is this a rule that will actually be enforced moving forward? Are Memes, GIFs, links to articles outside of ELR and the links to songs okay without permission? There’s a thread discussing Kodi, and we’ve talked about Modding video game consoles which essentially fall under stealing IP. Is it okay to keep those threads alive or should we let them go to the graveyard?

Are threads among willing participants discussing Politics and religion okay as long as they remain civil? Or is the danger of them going sour enough to have a blanket ban on them?


#244

I know this has been touched on but since you replied to me I want to reply back.

Yes, I’ve totally derailed threads. I’ve also posted content in places it doesn’t belong. And I mentioned that in the post that you quoted, as well as the fact that I’m trying not to let that be a habit anymore.

The reason a review with adult humor is different than derailing a thread with it is exactly what Ken said:

If someone is looking for answers to a question and they have to wade through a bunch of poop jokes or sex talk to find info in a thread, it can be a big hindrance/annoyance. If someone wants to read a review on a mod and they see at the very top of it saying “VapeyMama’s Naughty Reviews”, they can very easily say “um… Pretty sure I don’t want to read a naughty review” and they can go find another review of the same product elsewhere. Or they can say “huh! A naughty review? That sounds like it might be entertaining!” and continue reading.