As all recent Australian threads are doom and gloom, I thought one was needed to cheer up all the Steves, Steves, Steves, Bruces, Sheila’s and Kyles.
To kick it off, I congratulate you all on discovering a lovely new species: The new member of the phyllurus leaf-tailed gecko gang is a fine addition that doesn’t want all dead.
(We’ll ignore the equalising addition of the Queensland golden trapdoor spider who snuck in at the same time).
They are all sold out, all sorts available, but normally $60 they want $30 for a Huntsman they grow pretty big and are harmless as buggery.
I can catch you one if you like. 
I saw one the other day, there’s lots of spider webs around at the moment.
Years ago we had a pet Huntsmen called ‘Seven’ you can guess why, should have seen him suck the shit out of a cockroach. Poor bugger was addicted to nicotine and weed for some reason
Yeah, we have had pet huntsman spiders too, they are grouse for keeping other spiders and bugs away…
We had one too but we didn’t call it Steve.
We called him Freddy as he reminded me of Freddy Kruger, mind you it could have been a girl for all we knew.
Couldn’t really call him/her a pet really as he/she just decided to take up residence one day in our backyard not far from the kitchen window and was absolutely enormous.
It just done its thing for a while but then just disappeared overnight. That’s when we got worried about where the hell it had gone and half expected it to pop up somewhere in the house and say hello.
If my memory serves me correctly, the huntsman is responsible for more deaths than any other spider: As it likes quiet and dark places, it has a tendency to get snug on a car’s rear view mirror. When the driver pulls it down, it falls, the driver panics and crashes.
Steve, Steve, Steve and Bruce comes from a mad drinking game we played a fair few decades ago: ‘Steve, Steve, Steve, Bruce and The Whale’. .One which led to legal issues and unexpected engagements.
Or what the hell made it disappear and if that is watching you instead. If all the scary looking spiders are gone, you have to ponder whether a Drop Bear is tracking your movements.
No idea if it was eaten by something else or just decided to give the neighbours back yard a go. I did throw a tiny scrap of chicken into its web and it jumped on that quick smart.
Huntsman spiders are harmless but the big ones do still give me a scare. In WA the spider you don’t want in your house is a redback although I don’t think there’s been any deaths for a good while due to anti venom being administered quickly.
They’re absolutely everywhere but luckily like shaded outside areas like in your meter box or similar. We have had one in the house but noticed it quickly.
I haven’t seen a Huntsman’s in ages, or Redbacks either. Maybe it’s the different climate (Mallee).
We have these though;
There’s a few of them here I have dinner cooking though so no spiders tonight, I’ll let him fatten up first. 
Love the Golden Orb Weavers. We used to have heaps of them in Mildura. Big, fat, chunky ones at that. Apparently they can give a nasty bite if provoked enough.
I had a pet Redback and she was a beauty. She lived in the boot of my 1972 Fairlane for a good six months and was gorgeous.
Yeah they can be quite aggressive we used to catch them as kids, never got bitten.
Bees, hornets and wasps were what I got bitten by, so much so I stopped swelling up.
Am allergic to bees and to inch ants too… never stopped swelling from either so I try to avoid them when possible.
My mother-in-law was bitten by a redback a few years back. Made her sick but recovered alright. Was too remote to get anti-venom and too tough to care about it… Lol.
That sure is a big gecko.
We seem to only have skinks and sleepy lizards (shinglebacks/stumpies) here.
This is why you have to love squirrel. In all the negative he always gives you something to lift you spirits up. Good way to distract all with this story instead all the other crap.
Well, I always find that the world is more tolerable with a dash of whimsy or satire in it.
And it works well buddy. Thank you for a little silver lining
It’s alright. I’ll try to ensure that a smile is brought to others: It’s part of my morality - ‘did you cause more smiles than tears today?’
Golden orb and clementine pâté does sound like a good pairing. I think that using oranges would be too harsh based on their reliance on liquid food.
Maybe a dash of booze too: I have had flambéed brandy tarantula and it was a succulent snack.
Not to me it doesn’t 
I’ll stick with my chickens…
Ah, you’re more of the ‘three traditionals’ (cow, pig, chicken) types.
For me, finding a meat I haven’t had is getting harder and harder as years go by. One of these days I need to attend a Darwin Dinner.
