Thank you. And just FYI, part of my coping mechanism lately has been to just isolate, and as discussed a while back, dive deeper into music theory. Working on intervals and relative minor/major. Fun stuff!
11 Likes
I agree, that is fun stuff. 
6 Likes
I really sympathise. I’ve been there.
At the moment you are being sucked into a black hole, with no apparent escape.
Two things you have to decide. Do you want to save your marriage? Does your wife want to save the marriage? If the answer is yes to both of those is yes, it’s possible, but will take huge amounts of hard work from both of you.
Do NOT demean yourself! Jealousy is perfectly natural when someone is cheating on you, especially when you care deeply for that person, but, it will destroy a marriage and you.
You must muster all your courage & just let her be. The more jealous & clinging you become, the more you will push her away. This is soooo hard to do, but you MUST be cool. Give her space to decide. This is you best chance. If she doesn’t want to be with you, no amount of persuasion or holding on will change her mind. If she does, being strong and giving her space will allow her to come back more easily.And why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. You deserve better. Good luck. It’s going to suck for a while.
9 Likes
Thanks for commenting. I agree with everything you said and at this point we remain together, both of us working on fixing the issues that started all this. The biggest hurdle for me is re-establishing my trust, and her earning it back again.
Yes, it does suck.
7 Likes
Just wanted to offer my support & well wishes! I’ve gotten through some intense, difficult times with the help of personal & couples therapy. I’d highly recommend at least one of those options, especially for you to work around healing & moving past things in a healthy manner in which resentments are not held onto. I recall reading that your spouse is a therapist or psychiatrist, so hopefully she will be open to the idea as she of all people should be aware of the great benefits of having a neutral 3rd party there to mediate, problem solve & offer communication/ healing tips, etc. However you choose to deal with this, I wish you both the absolute best. Comfort, peace & hugs during this hard time.
11 Likes
Thank you for the nice comment. As of this writing the wife and I are on much better terms. We are starting to re-connect and actually went on a ‘date’ to a new Harley dealership opening in town. I guess that’s a start.
16 Likes
That sounds like an amazing date! I wish you guys lots of good, productive communication & healing! I highly recommend checking out the 5 Love Languages if you guys haven’t done so together already. Kind of a common, cliche example but it definitely changed my relationship for the better!
7 Likes
I have tendencies towards that. Forums are one of my ways of not dealing with the people in my life.
7 Likes