Bob has no arms or legs.
*knock*knock*
"Who’s there? "
…well, it’s not Bob
6 Likes
I’m infamous around my pals as the queen of awful jokes. The only joke I can come up with that’s appropriate for all audiences is a silly science joke:
A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, “Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage?” The photon says, “No thanks, I’m traveling light.”
And an underrated recipe that I semi-recently discovered and love is @SthrnMixer’s Strawberry Cheesecakeshake.
10 Likes
Ok I’m in. Guess I’ll do the joke.
A farmer has a horse that the vet told him was depressed.
This was the farmers best stud horse.
The Famer decided to put up a sign "make my horse laugh $1000"
A guy comes along and asked if it was real.
Farmer says yes but none else has been successful.
The guy goes over to the horse and whispers in his ear.
The horse starts laughing and keeps laughing every time he looks at the guy.
The farmer pays the man, the man leaves.
The horse is so happy now he is trying to mate with everything on the farm, the cows, the pigs, even a chicken.
The farmer is tired of this, he puts up another sign "stop my horse from laughing $5000"
The same guy comes along and asked could he have a try.
Farmer says go ahead nobody else has been successful.
The guy leads the horse to barn.
The horse is laughing all the way.
They go in the barn for a few minutes.
The guy leads the horse back out, and he’s not laughing.
The Famer pays the man, but asked if he could tell him how he made the horse laugh.
The guy says oh sure, I told him my penis was bigger than his.
The farmer even laughs, well how did you stop him from laughing.
The guy says
I took him in the barn and showed it to him.
Long but made me laugh.
8 Likes
A brunette and a blonde were speeding down the street when they passed a cop.
“Oh no!” cried the brunette. “Is he following me?”
“Yep,” replied the blonde.
“I’m going to drive down this little side road, okay?” said the brunette.
“Yep,” replied the blonde.
“Is the cop still following me?”
“Yep.”
“Are his lights on?”
“Yep, nope, yep, nope, yep, nope…”
8 Likes
Thanks for another giveaway Lars! Generous as always 
I can take or leave it but I can’t pass up a joke!
My grandmother of 95 told me this and it’s probably why it is the only joke I have ever retained;
Why can’t Mrs Piggy count to 100?
.
.
.
.
Wait for it…
.
.
.
.
Cause every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat!
Hehe
I hope this wasn’t supposed to be G rated…
6 Likes
Bavarian custard cake
| Ingredient | % |
|---|---|
| Cake Batter Dip (FW) | 4 |
| Dx Bavarian Cream (TFA) | 4 |
| Vanilla Custard (FW) | 7 |
Flavor total: 15%
Remember to rate it at e-liquid-recipes.com!
The custard in this defiantly has to steep but pretty tasty after 2-3 weeks.
Why was I only taught about the first two rings of marriage? (Engagement ring) (Wedding ring) No one ever said anything about the last one the Suffering
5 Likes
How do I insert one of my recipes in a reply?
1 Like
Blue wrench, “Copy as HTML (text)” 
(fixed it for ya)
2 Likes
One of my favourite recipes that I found on ELR whilst searching for a good peach flavour juice.
As for jokes, time for a couple of Tim Vine’s best…
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes
4 Likes
My favourite recipe to date. Very easy on the coils and a very mellow, easy adv.
6% Tfa ry4 double
5% Tfa banana cream
2% Tfa Caramel original
1% FA soho.
And for my joke, what’s brown and rhymes with snoop.
Dre
4 Likes
http://tjek.nu/r/2zEe
Asked the bloke in the store how much his bees were
He looked in bewilderment and said "I don’t sell bees"
I said “well you have 5 on display in your window”.
2 Likes
This is an adult site only. No vaping allowed for kids who are too young for dirty jokes 
2 Likes
Is this any good as a shake and vape?
1 Like
That said, since I didn’t do a joke in mine, here’s a kid friendly joke to clean your eyes out. With winter coming soon, it might even come in handy.
How do you find Will Smith after a snowstorm?
You just look for Fresh Prints.
5 Likes
As far as a recipe goes, I’ll share one of my new ones and it’s underrated because of the Lavender. Some people pass over it because they think they don’t like flora but what they won’t know, because they haven’t tried it, is…it’s pretty damn amazing and not what you would think!
Sorry to hype one of my own but I consider this one to be a HR
Sorry I can’t link it through my phone
3 Likes
Nice review, been eyeing that TFV4 for the rebuildable deck.
I just mixed my first batch of juices tonight. I started with these:
Raspberry Ice Cream: Raspberry Sweet (TPA) 5%, Vanilla Bean Ice Cream (TPA) 8%
and
Strawberry Banana Cheesecake: Strawberry (TPA) 2%, Strawberry ripe (TPA) 5%, Cheesecake graham crust (TPA) 5%, DX Banana Cream (TPA) 5%, Vanilla Whipped Cream (CAP) 3%
I’ve been really excited to finally get all my supplies so I went a little crazy making all these and I hope they come out good. Going to let them steep overnight before I even try them.
Oh and my joke: What dog keeps the best time? A watch dog.
2 Likes
After reading this I went and looked at the rating for this recipe. I just tasted this juice for the first time the other day and when I checked I was surprised this did not have more 5 star ratings.
Friends of mine tried it tonight that don’t care for tobacco flavors and they both liked this juice.
Great job Jimk
Fidel's Private Stock
| Ingredient | % |
|---|---|
| Black Honey Tobacco (TPA) | 4 |
| Catalan Cream (FA) | 4 |
| Cubano (TPA) | 4 |
| Graham Cracker Clear (FW) | 5 |
| Marzipan (FA) | 3 |
| MTS Vape Wizard (FA) | 1 |
| Perique Black (FA) | 1 |
Flavor total: 22%
Remember to rate it at e-liquid-recipes.com!
4 Likes
The lawn chair was invented by a little known Irish inventor.
Paddy O’Furniture
Tis true…look it up.
3 Likes
I’ve tried to rate it twice, but unfortunately that is not possible.
3 Likes
He’s the man when it comes to all things tobacco 
3 Likes