Memes, Jokes, Riddles

I’m manipulative that way.

Wait, you used your fingers, didn’t you?

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Did you know that 10 + 10 = the same as 11 + 11?

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Good friend of mine, Little Johnny was watching TV in the liging room one day when a traveling salesman rang the bell. Little Johnny opens the door and says, “Can I help you?”

Salesman. Hello, young man, is you mom home?

Little Johnny. No sir, she up stairs in the shower.

Man asked if hid dad was around.

Little Johnny. No sir, he’s up in the shower with my mom.

Salesman is getting annoyed. Well, do you think they’ll be down soon?

Little Johnny. I doubt it sir. My dad asked me to get him some Vaseline, but I gave him crazy glue.

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Okay, come on now, some bite. Ask me WTF?

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… so many folks report of the beautiful eclipse last night!

Dang… I missed it.

:laughing:

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Brain? Worked for a holding company that invited a pure bread Chines man over for some network training. Learned how to speak English by hanging out at an airport. Simply could NOT pronounce my name correctly. Always switched the I for an A. Brain, not Brian. I tell ya, I had a man crush, 'ya know?

Don’t think I ever said my real name, so where’d you come up with that? Or should I say, how? I mean I’m flattered…

True Story: Was working for the 2nd biggest office furniture MFG in the world, Herman Miller. We were replacing all the Windows 3.1 desktops with NT. 4.0. We were in Toronto Canada. At the time I lived in Michigan. Called a campground in the upper peninsula, saying I would be flying in from Canada, and wanted to know if the privacy gates could be opened if my plane landed late. Introduced myself as “Brian Adams.”

She was like, “OMG, no problem! Just call this number!..” Got there and there was a dozen 16 year old hotties asking “Who the hell are you?”

I was like, “You can still show you you’re titties, right?”

I’ve been asked if I was the real “Bryan” Adams. I’d say, no, I only sing in the shower, but your welcome to join me…

I’m now down to 5’2". I’d say, no, I lopped him off at the knees, stole his identity and forgot to take his wallet.

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Crap! I don’t get it! Is that the Aardvark and ants? What am I looking at there?

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Okay, ok, I’ll 'splain it to you since no one will bite. 10+10=20. 11+11=22! Get it now? Or do I actually have to say, twenty TOO!

Work with me here! I’m a bored old man, what thinks he’s funny! Throw me a bone!

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It’s a little humorous visual mash up of certain beliefs, concerning an infinitesimal speck of dirt, called earth, in the vast, ever expanding cosmos.

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I know I’m old and clueless, but damn. Now I see Mars, a waterline (Like on a ship) a caveman skeleton, next to a hot chick to the left of an elephant, standing on a tortoise.

Oh wait! Upon further inspection, it looks like cave man, chick and elephant are either A., holding hands, or B., getting kinky with their genitals. Or am I just an old provert?

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This should shed some light on the subject:

And just for fun-zees:

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I had no idea how close I was/am! Awesome. Not to make light of the symbology, but if the earth were flat, cat’s would have knocked every thing off the planet by now. Osama didn’t knock the towers off of New York. Our Main Coon, did!

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Hehe, yeah, that’s about right @Mark_Turner.

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Screenshot 2025-03-19 07.29.17.png

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Looks more like a giant space lasers gonna splash down.

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That’s how I am now. An injury.

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Bah! It’ll look like one big Chad.

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My good friend Little Johnny was in school one day, learning how to add. His teacher asked him to add 5 + 5. He held out his hands and starts to count using his fingers. She said, “No Johnny, don’t use your fingers. Put your hands behind your back.”

He does, and starts counting. 1, 2, 3, 4… Teacher again tells him not to count on his fingers. She tells him to put his hands in his pockets. He does.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11.

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I wish this was a reaction icon —> :skull_and_crossbones:

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