You mean that house across the street?
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I’m at the age where, one day my wife called me to warn me to stay off the expressway, because some idiot was going the wrong way.
What? Hell, their ALL going the wrong way!
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So, Little Johnny was in school and at the end of a day, the teacher placed 2 glasses on her desk. She them poured water into one, and whiskey in the other. She then put a worm in each glass.
Next day they came into class to find the worm in the water alive, and the one in the whisky dead. She asked the students what they could learn from that.
Knowing the teacher hated to call on him, because he always said something inappropriate, Little Johnny simply jumped and said, “Well, I’m no genius, but it seems to me, if you drink whiskey, you won’t get worms.”
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thats not funny
sleep apnea can actually be life ruining
guess how i know
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Maybe he was smoking crack to try to counter balance the sleep apnea.
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First night I used it, I was like, no way I’m getting used to this. First morning? Made love to it.
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My one cat starts smacking and knocking everything over when he wants something. Lmao
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Proof that the earth CANNOT be flat.
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A man gets a text from his wife.
Her: Don’t forget to get bread on your way home from work. And say hi to your girlfriend Valerie.
Him: What? Who’s Valerie.
Her: No one. I just wanted confirmation you got my message.
Him: But I’m with her now. I thought you saw us!
Her: Where are you?
Him: I’m at the bakery.
Her: Don’t go anywhere, I’m going to the bakery!
Her: I’m at the bakery. Where are you?
Him: I’m at work. But as long as you’re at the bakery, grab some bread.
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