So I have a bit of a health issue at the moment so I picked up this one in some hospital.
A guy is seeing a doctor who straight away tells him that heâs way overweight which is seriously dangerous and he has to do something about it.
Says the man that he would like to hear a 2nd opinion on that.
Says the doc: ok, no problem. Youâre also extremely ugly.
Youâve been missed!
Welcome back!! Itâs see to see you here!
Thanks man, Iâm on the way back to relatively normal now, after a heart attack in April and a new aortic heart valve 5 weeks ago.
Iâm now in a clinik where they get you back on your feet.
I probably have to sue the clinic now because they send cannabis patients off the clinic grounds, itâs not allowed to consume your meds on site 
Holy shit brother. Just a bump in the road ehh ??
Well, whatever doesnât kill you, makes you stronger right ?
Welcome back.
LOL, well that makes fuck sense !!! 
Bump in the road, yes, definately! It was a rather rough ride, the heart valve thing was probaly a birth defect, which would explain that Iâve been told off by pretty muchevery PE teacher i ever had. And always was the last on the top of the hill etc. Once youâre beyond 50, these things like to escalate which is what happened in my case. First the heart attack whcih was not too bad really, it has been fixed with a single stent. Just before i was about to go back to work i had another issue, this time i couldnât get rid of the CO2 so i had a CO2 poisoning. All caused by the leaky valve. Now i have an artificial one which is just starting to run a bit more smooth. In the beginning itâs expeted to cause arythmia or whatever it is called in english. So probing my pulse brings back very funny results sometimes.
Luckily enough, the operation was done in a really good hospital which a few years ago got university clinic status where they do this kind of operation every day.
Iâm expected to be back at work around xmas, that was my longest stint off work ever. Really looking forward to go back, as strange as it sounds 
Get well quick man! 
3 guys who knew each other since they were in school keep meeting in a pub for a drink, theyâve been doing it for a very long time. So one day they all come with zimmer frames and one of the guys had a sat nav. The others were impressed about this brilliant idea.
A few days later the one guy came without his sat nav and the others asked what happened.
Says the other one: I had enough of this. I walked along the cemetery and when i came closer to the entrance it said âyou have reached your destinationâ.
This drunk bloke runs into a couple of cops late in the evening. The cops ask where heâs going. Says the guy, iâm on my way to a lecture about abuse of alcohol and drugs and their influence on the human body.
The cop says yeah sure buddy, whoâs holding such a lecture in the middle of the night?
Says the guy: my wife.
School anniversary, a group of guys doesnât want to go home yet so they think about where they could go. They decided to go to the wild boar inn, because they have the prettiest bar maids.
10 years later, same thing. Letâs go to the wild boar, they have the best food!
Another 10 years later, they thought the wild boar would be a good choice because they have easy wheelchair access.
Yet another 10 years later: Letâs go to the wild boar, weâve never been there!
Sorry Iâm hanging out with lots of old people here in the clinic, thatâs the kind of stuff you hear around here!