They say a lion would never drive while intoxicated, but a Tiger Would….
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Last night I made a strange dream, I was eating some huuuuge marshmallows, and when I woke up… Damn!! No more pillows on my bed… 
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People that confuse BURRO with BURROW don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground.
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A Parsley Farmer sued me and won.
I don’t have enough money to pay the settlement.
Now they’re garnishing my paycheck.
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Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta whey. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world
lettuce pray
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Confucius say:
“Man with hard-on at airport check-in is going to Bangkok”…
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Sometimes auto-correct can be your best friend - other times it can be your worst enema.
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